aCy’s w0nderLand

That’s how much I love you (yeah)
That’s how much I need you (yeah yeah yeah)

And I can’t stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile?
And then I like you for a while
No…

But you won’t let me
You upset me girl and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did

But I hate it
You know exactly what to do so that I can’t stay mad at you for too long
That’s wrong but I hate it

You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (ohh)
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so (ooh)

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it’s not fair
How you take advantage of the fact that I…
Love you beyond a reason why (whyyy)
And it just ain’t right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you (yeah yeah)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss will make me weak
But no one in this world
Knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me…

yeahhhhh ohhhh ohhh
oh yeah

It’s how much I love you
It’s how nuch I need you
It’s how much I love you (ohh)
It’s how much I need you
And I hate that I love you
Sooooo
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you soo
And I hate that I love you soo sooo

♥kish.kish.kish♥<br>i.mish.you ^^ <– gaya-gaya ako oh. :p

i understand every bit of u. yes, every bit. but i’m hurting. is this right? *sighs* i try to. but i just can’t seem to be happy when u’re not around. i’m having sleepless nights thinking what might happen to "us". trying to imagine life without you. den tears wud fall. i can’t. i just can’t.

i wanna make u happy. i wanna try to ease the pain u’re going thru. i wanna cheer u up. i wanna make sure u’ll always be okay. but i feel like u’re pushing me away. what’s the use of "US" when u’re carrying the burden alone? i wanna be there for you……..

i guess i’ll just try to be okay alone too. i have no choice. i have to. i’m left all alone. seeking for attention. i guess i’ll get used to crying myself to sleep. eating my meals alone. watching movies by myself. laughing, smiling, crying and every emotion that i used to share with you, now i have to feel them alone.

where are you?

don’t i deserve to be happy? is it really hard to feel happiness?

some people don’t see how hurt i am. coz they see only my smiles and laughters. but they never see what’s deep inside of me. how can they not see the tears that i cry? why can’t they see the pain that i keep inside? am i really dat good at pretending? or they really can’t see the real me?

every night i cry myself to sleep. i always ask myself y do i have to feel this. am i meant to cry? am i meant to get hurt?

why can’t you see that you’re killing me.

although i get hurt, i never asked for anyone in my life.

it’s still you that i’ve been wishing to be with day and night.

and it’s still you that i want to spend FOREVER with.

amazing isn’t it?

suddenly.. everything changed..

how can this happen when i know what i have given is enough?

u left me wid tears..

and i am still in tears..

help me get over you..

help me find the broken pieces of me..

coz the pain is killing me.

i really don’t know wat happened. isang arw pggcng ko wla n lht. laugthers. misunderstandings. smiles. conversations. parang bglang puro tears. tears. tears.

ang daya.

i’m rily hurting.

please be my happiness for one last time?

i promise not to waste this chance again.

i want u bak.

Ay wag naman

Alisin ang

Nag-iisang panaginip

Na ika’y magbabalik

Nagsasamang masaya

At walang pagkukulang

At ngayong wala ka na

Ay bahala na

Ang tanging naririnig

Wala ka bang ibang masabi

Huwag ka nang mag-alala

Inintindi ko

Ang lungkot na ginawa mo

At ngayong wala ka na

Paulit-ulit mananatili

Pag gising ko’y wala pa rin

Hindi maamin

Ilang dalanging…

Wala na

Wala ka

Wala na

At ngayong wala ka na

yesterday, i celebrated the best birthday ever.. although i didn’t spend it with ALL my friends..=( i woke up sooo early 2 hear mass.. ciempre thank God for all the blessings and for giving me another year to love and beeee happy..=) after hearing mass, i stayed at home and waited for my parents.. we had a simple but memorable breakfast.. they gve me their gifts.. and ung pinakafavorite ko ung flowers that my mom and dad gave me.. PURPLE xa!! haha.. sweet..=) then i stayed at home lng hngng lunchtym.. after lunch we went to atc.. i met up with tine and tal.. dpt treat ko ung movie eh, tsk.. anyway, babawi nlng ako.. nxt tym treat ko tlga.. tsk2.. *and thanks for your gifts.. i really really liked it..* we watched ice age 2.. hehe.. i’m glad tine enjoyed the movie.. hehe.. cute nung movie, FUNNY.. hehe.. at least i get to laugh on my birthday.. *smiles* den after the movie, ikot2 lng sandali den we split up na coz the twins will hear mass.. after nun, i met up nmn wid my other friends.. ung mga anak ng friends ni mommy na close ko.. saya! we were like joking around the whole tym.. ang saya tlga, most of the tym u’d catch us LAUGHING.. haha.. we had dinner at gerry’s grill coz it was kimmy and ate kris’ graduation celebration..*congrats kim!!!* den after dinner we played sa timezone.. saya!! and agen, i got addicted to DDR.. haha.. sumakit paa ko nun.. and pinagpawisan ako..*yakky* hehe.. but i enjoyed hanging out wid them.. saya kasi.. comedy lahat.. wlng dull moment.. den wala kami ginawa kundi umikot ng umikot.. and oh, we had our pictures taken.. haha!! ang kulet ni Gio noh?! only boy kasi.. tsk2..

grb! sbrng memorable tlga ng bday ko na 2.. and one of my wishes came true!! ung maraming bumati skn on my birthday.. as in ang dami bumati.. dami pang mga UNKNOWN numbers na ngtxt skn 2 grit me.. may NAG-UTOS daw kasi sknla n btiin ako.. haha.. CY?!?!?! *tnx CY!! saya tlga!! pti pgreet skn EVRY hour.. cnxa n npgod ka ata.. hehe* hmm, grb.. saya tlga ng bday ko.. i hope maulit ulit.. yeah!!

thnks sa lht ng ngcelebr8 wd me.. ciempre family ko, tine, tal, kim, ika, issa, sam, pam and gio.. thanks a lot!! love you guys!!

although may sad part pdn.. huhu.. i jst fil n prng may lumalayo n skn.. =( and mskit.. *walang biro..* i really wanted to cry pra malessen ung pain.. but i don’t know.. prng nstuck ung tears ko.. it won’t fall.. =( the best bday gift that i would receive cgro is bumalik n xa sa dati.. ung dating xa.. kasi it really is hurting me na, nung una i jst ignore it.. but now, shoot. it’s hurting LIKE HELL.. =( sana alm mo un, although d m cnsb, u’re making me feel it.. and kht gs2 kong pguspn ung problma, i know u wudn’t want to talk about it.. so jst think of this, YOU DON”T WANT ME TO WALK IN AND OUT OF YOUR LIFE.. SO PLEASE, DON’T DO THE SAME.. coz i really am hurting..=( and it’s making me sad..

i rily don’t know wat’s happening.. all i know is dat i’m miSSing the oLd you.. i miss your txts, ur "pangungulets" and everythng.. i rily don’t know wat’s going on, if ever there is sumthing wrong.. but i knw u won’t tel me.. 2lad nga ng sbi mo dti skn, d nmn lht ng bgay dpt cnsb.. kaya pkkramdaman ko nlng..

but it’s hurting me a lot..

coz i rily am missing you..

i jst want the oLd you back..

if it’s still possible..

hey! nothing…. i miss you..

the person who FIRST left me:

life. can really be hard most of the time. i really don’t know what to do anymore. coz i’m in PAIN. y do u hav 2 make me fil dis way? is dis sumthing i deserve? i thot wen u hurt me b4, it wud be the last. but i was SOOOO wrong. coz now, i can fil the pain. i can fil the pain slowly destroying me. destroying every inch of me. but i’d be able to find myself again. coz i won’t be affected anymore. never ever.

the person who’s been going through the onLy permanent thing in this world, CHANGE:

i rily don’t know what’s happening. i wake up one morning and i don’t fil u anymore. ur presence, i can’t fil anymore. am i becoming numb? or u’re rily fading away? have u found ur happiness and sum1 hu’d make u smile? dat’s y u don’t nid me anymore? how sad.

IS IT REALLY DAT EASY TO HURT ME?

ngumiti kahit na napipilitan
kahit pa sinasadya
mo akong masaktan paminsan-minsan
bawat sandali na lang
tulad mo ba akong nahihirapan
dahil naiisip ka
di ko na kaya pang kalimutan
bawat sandali na lang 

at aalis magbabalik
at uuliting sabihin
na mahalin ka’t sambitin
kahit muli masaktan
sa pag-alis
ako’y magbabalik
sana naman 

sa isang marikit na alaala
pangitaing kay ganda
sana nga’y pagbigyan
na ng tadhana
bawat sandali na lang
sumabay sa biglang pagkabahala
lumabis sa pananadya
tunay na pagsilan alintana
bawat sandali na lang

at aalis magbabalik
at uuliting sabihin
na mahalin ka’t sambitin
kahit muli masaktan
sa pag-alis
ako’y magbabalik
sana naman 

ngumiti kahit na napipilitan
kahit pa sinasadya
mo akong masaktan paminsan-minsan
bawat sandali

at aalis magbabalik
at uuliting sabihin
na mahalin ka’t sambitin
kahit muli masaktan
sa pag-alis
ako’y magbabalik
sana naman 

*this song’s sooo stuck in my head.. haha.. LSS.. tsk, tinee kasi eh.. hehe.. hmm, it’s really bin a day for me.. waaa! soo damn tired.. i went to skul early.. den after ng exams i went straight to cavite.. sa haws ni tal *mis you* and tine.. tas after i went bak to skul para lng magpaattendance.. argh! pro aios lng, additional grade din.. *sighs* i hope i’d get good grades dis tym.. *shox* pg hndi tlga mgngda grades na nakuha ko, lipat nko.. waaaa! *ah don’t wana go!! ah don’t wana go!!* i’m guna leave my frnds and "special frnds".. waa! bes… di mko pipigilan?? haha, joke lng.. peace.. sbrng nkkstress tlga nursing.. soo sad, if my grades are like LOWWWW, i’d transfer maybe sa UST to take up architecture.. pro hndi pa din nmn sure, coz it’s really hard you know.. =( thinking about it makes me sooo sad.. coz evn if di pko ktgal sa mdc, filing ko andun na buhay ko.. *well, nandun nga buhay ko, haha..* waa! don’t wana be a drama queen, pro really.. i really really hope my grades are good.. *crosses fingers*

leaving you would be so damn hard..

it really breaks my heart.. *cries*